Our parents, relatives and guardians have probably told you, “Don’t talk behind your friends backs. It’s not good.” They were right. It’s not good. But if you want to be productive it can also be an opportunity for a win.
In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie talked about giving people a reputation to live up to. Others call it identity building. If you constantly praise a particular skill or character trait, a person will manifest it more often. The praise, in turn, is repeated by that individual and becomes part of his or her character.
Let’s take an example of an employee called Fafa. I tell another employee, Gilla
that Fafa is exceptional at following requests, that he never lets things slide and is upto the task assigned. Invariably, Gilla tells someone that I told her that about Fafa, and someone else tells another employee until it gets back to Fafa.
When Fafa hears what I told Gilla, he gets excited about the recognition. I like to think of it as a positive friction. You can compliment someone like Fafa directly, which is a positive feedback, when it reaches him through other employees, it gains a lot more weight. Fafa knows that others are aware of the boss’s attering remarks about his ability, and it solid positive connection. He’s going to be confident and productive.
Process this issue relative to your own employees. Who has talent but lacks aggressiveness or confidence? Have you tried and failed to encourage that person to be a stronger negotiator? What if you were to mention something positive about that person to another employee: what would you say, and how would you say it? Wait a few days, and see what happens. You’ve been trying to figure out how and when to motivate that employee in an impactful, lasting way. Now you know exactly what you have to do.
Make it a habit of saying good things about others behind them and not only once a year. If you don’t do it, it will cause friction which doesn’t produce positive creative thinking and peer pressure. Let’s create a culture in which you spread good words about people.
Compiled by Allan.
ALLAN'S 